Is Your Marriage Struggling? Discover How to Overcome These Tough Challenges!

Xoxo
By Xoxo - Editor
11 Min Read
Northern couple, having issues in their home

Marriage is often described as a beautiful journey, filled with love, adventure, and connection. But for many young couples, the reality can feel like a series of hurdles to jump over, each one more complicated than the last. The truth is, no matter how ready you are or how perfect the love story seems, the transition into married life can be a tough ride. And let’s face it, “Marriage is sweet, but this constant knocking is one of the hardest parts.” Whether you’re feeling your best or your worst, in the mood or not, there’s an unspoken expectation: as long as your partner is in the mood, you’ll have to find a way to please them. It’s a harsh truth that many young couples struggle to navigate, and it doesn’t stop there.

In this post, we’ll dig into the real challenges young couples face in marriage. From overwhelming expectations to balancing emotional needs, finances, intimacy, and family dynamics, young couples often face struggles that can feel insurmountable. But don’t worry! Along with each challenge, we’ll offer practical, actionable advice to help you steer your marriage in the right direction, ensuring it thrives, not just survives.

1. The High Expectations Game

One of the toughest battles in marriage is the weight of expectations. Society, family, and even ourselves have certain standards we place on what a “successful” marriage should look like. You know, the kind of love story where everything is always blissful, everyone gets along, and there’s no such thing as tension.

In reality, though, young couples are often hit with the harsh reality that this “perfect” scenario is impossible to achieve 100% of the time. From the wedding day to the days that follow, there’s an unspoken pressure to uphold appearances, act as if everything is perfect, and maintain a façade of happiness. But that pressure isn’t sustainable.

Actionable Tip: Ditch the idea of perfection. Focus on building a partnership that allows room for imperfection. Communicate openly with your spouse about your individual expectations and align them to avoid unnecessary tension.

2. Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster

Marriage isn’t just about blending lives; it’s about blending emotions. As two individuals come together, they bring with them different experiences, emotional baggage, and expectations. These emotional differences can create tension, especially in the early years of marriage.

One partner might be more expressive, while the other may prefer to keep things bottled up. This imbalance can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. You might find yourself wondering why your spouse doesn’t seem to “get you,” while they’re trying to figure out why you seem distant.

Actionable Tip: Make emotional transparency a priority. Open up about how you feel, even if it’s uncomfortable. If one partner struggles with communication, make space for them to express themselves at their own pace. Make your home a safe place for emotional vulnerability.


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3. Intimacy and Physical Connection

Here’s the thing: intimacy isn’t just about the physical act of sex. It’s about maintaining a deep connection, feeling wanted, appreciated, and emotionally present for each other. And yet, in many marriages, especially young ones, intimacy can quickly become routine or even an afterthought.

Over time, as careers, family obligations, and day-to-day stress pile up, the effort put into keeping that spark alive fades. Couples might feel disconnected, not just emotionally, but physically as well. The honeymoon phase fades, and it’s easy to let intimacy become something that happens when “it’s convenient” instead of something that’s actively nurtured.

Actionable Tip: Prioritise physical affection outside of sex. Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, or even cuddling while watching a movie can maintain that bond. Schedule intimate moments to ensure they don’t get lost in the shuffle of life’s demands.

4. Money Talks

Money is one of the leading causes of stress in marriages. When you’re starting out, finances can be a huge source of anxiety. It’s one thing to talk about budgeting before marriage, but it’s an entirely different ballgame once you’re sharing bank accounts and making financial decisions together. Differing financial habits—whether you’re a spender or a saver—can create significant tension.

Couples may struggle with joint decision-making, especially when it comes to big-ticket purchases or saving for the future. In some cases, financial strain can also lead to resentment, with one partner feeling like they’re shouldering more of the burden than the other.

Actionable Tip: Get real about money. Have open, honest discussions about your finances. Create a joint budget that aligns with both partners’ goals, and stick to it. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help from a financial advisor to guide your discussions and create a long-term financial plan together.

5. The Power Struggle

Who’s in charge? The answer, ideally, is both of you. But in many marriages, there’s a tendency for one partner to dominate decision-making. Whether it’s career moves, household duties, or long-term life goals, the power struggle can feel like an ongoing battle.

This is especially true when both partners have strong, independent personalities. The key is to find ways to navigate those power dynamics without undermining one another. When one person feels like they’re always in control, resentment can begin to build.

Actionable Tip: Share leadership in the relationship. Empower each other by taking turns making decisions, both big and small. Respect each other’s opinions and work together to compromise. A marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.

6. Family and In-Laws

Family dynamics play a huge role in the success of a marriage, especially when young couples are still navigating the expectations and relationships with in-laws. While family support is wonderful, sometimes the influence of parents, siblings, and extended relatives can add pressure to the marriage.

In-laws can sometimes overstep boundaries, leaving one partner feeling torn between loyalty to their family and loyalty to their spouse. This can result in conflict, especially if one partner feels their spouse isn’t standing up for them.

Actionable Tip: Set healthy boundaries. Have clear discussions with both your spouse and your families about what’s acceptable behaviour. Respect each other’s relationship with their family, but prioritise your marriage above all else. Compromise is key, but don’t allow anyone to disrespect your boundaries.

7. Finding Time for Each Other

The early years of marriage often come with a lot of adjustment. You’re learning how to live together, manage finances, deal with family pressures, and more. Amidst all of this, it’s easy to forget the importance of spending quality time together. Between work, friends, and other obligations, the connection between partners can start to feel strained.

Actionable Tip: Schedule time for each other—yes, even if it’s just 30 minutes a day. Whether it’s having coffee together in the morning or watching a show at night, carving out time to be with your spouse is crucial. Prioritise your relationship as you would your career or any other aspect of your life.

8. Personal Growth and Change

Another challenge young couples face is the ongoing process of personal growth. As individuals evolve, so does the marriage. People change over time—sometimes in small, almost imperceptible ways, and sometimes in huge, life-altering ways. But how do you grow together without drifting apart?

Personal growth and change, if not managed well, can create emotional distance. One partner might feel left behind, or conversely, one might feel that the other is holding them back. These challenges can be hard to navigate, but they are part of the journey.

Actionable Tip: Be intentional about growing together. Celebrate each other’s successes and be there through challenges. Encourage your spouse’s growth and personal development while remaining a team. Growth is more powerful when it’s shared.

Thriving, Not Just Surviving

Marriage is tough; there’s no doubt about it. But if you understand the challenges and are willing to put in the work, your relationship can thrive. Remember, no marriage is perfect. But with clear communication, shared values, and a commitment to supporting one another, you can face any difficulty head-on.

You don’t have to face these challenges alone. Open up, grow together, and support one another through thick and thin. After all, love isn’t just about being in the mood; it’s about being there for each other when it counts. Stay committed, and your marriage will not just survive—it will flourish.

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